Seven Things Beauty Queens Have Taught Us

The Mark personally believes Canada Canadians could learn from pageant queens like the Miss Teen South Carolina and such as.

Did you think beauty pageants were called that because they're about beauty? Yeah, bet you also thought Confucius was some kind of Chinese philosopher. Luckily, these lovely ladies are here to enlighten you. Here are seven things you should know, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children.

It's called THE Iraq

I mean like, did you think there was more than one of them?

It's called “opposite marriage”

California girls, they're unforgettable.

Confucius invented confusion

Speaking without thought is a labour lost.

Beauty > Brains

A contestant says it's better to be beautiful than "not too smart." She should know.

Miss America should be a role model because ... she should, OK.

In other news, circular logic is circular because it's circular.

The Iraq prison abuse scandal was ... wait ... scandal?

Um, question lady, don't you mean the prison abuse scandal in THE Iraq?

America is only home in one state

"From the rocky shores of Hawaii to the beautiful sandy beaches of ... Hawaii ..."

The Pearl Harbour attacks ended the Great Depression

BOOM! It was gone, just like that.