What Modern Family Says About Modern America

Does the success of the television comedy program indicate that Americans' attitudes towards race and sexuality are changing?

At work, we get the Calgary Herald, the Globe and Mail and the National Post each day. I don’t generally read them, as I get all of my news online at my desk, but occasionally as I whiz by the kitchen, something in one of the papers will grabs my eye.

The other day, it was an article on the Emmys in the entertainment section of the Calgary Herald. I should note that this time, the Herald denied me my favourite pastime of blaming them entirely for some strange article; this one was written by Reuters.

The headline for the article was, “Emmy wins prove ‘modern’ families are U.S. hits.” Can you guess where they’re going with this? Yup, they’re talking about race and homosexuality. The essential thesis of the article is that because Modern Family won the Best Comedy Emmy, it must mean that Americans have become more open to interracial adoptions and homosexuality.

I suppose the writer of this piece meant well, but I take exception with her choices of interview subject, her quick conclusions about how the average American views gay people, and the article’s self-congratulatory tone – “Yay! Look at our society! We’re progressing!” I don’t think congratulations are in order; we have a long way to go before we reach true acceptance of “alternative families.”

The first point I found problematic came from Todd Gold, the managing editor of Fancast.com: “While many may disagree with issues like gay marriage, [Americans] have shown that they are incredibly tolerant and accepting when it comes to entertainment.”

To me, this says that Americans are OK with theoretical gay people, but not with real gay people who get married, move next door, and have kids. This doesn’t say that people are tolerant and accepting.

Tolerance in entertainment is not necessarily reflective of tolerance in real life. History has shown repeatedly that we are willing be entertained by those we do not necessarily appreciate or respect (prostitutes, gladiators … sorry, I’m free-associating, but you get the idea). You might even say we consider entertainers a lower class, in that “Dance, monkey, dance!” kind of way. So it doesn’t matter that we don’t support their getting married – they’re beneath us.

Further on in the article, the writer quotes Christopher Lloyd, co-creator of Modern Family: “In addition, the gay couple in the show emphasize parental responsibility. ‘They are not finger-snappy fabulous gay guys. They are more homey, slightly nerdier, smarter gay guys and in many ways the most traditional of the parental units in our show, so I don’t think we ever thought that was going to be too much for Americans to accept,’ said Lloyd.”.

Lloyd, I have to point out, is currently in hot water with the kids on the social networks, because after an entire season, the gay couple on Modern Family still has not kissed. I’m just going to let that sit.

Also, notice how the writer made a connection between parental responsibility and flamboyant gay men vs. traditional parental units? Sneaky.

Flamboyance is something I have noticed is great sticking point for a lot of people – they have no problem with people being gay, as long as they don’t act gay. It calls into question their understanding of gender norms and the social structure. It’s unnerving and foreign.

I don’t have a problem with flamboyance, but I do have a problem with the assumption that gay men are flamboyant. In reality, gay parents probably don’t even act flamboyant. They’re focused on their kid, just like every other parent, not traipsing around like a club-rat cliché. If anyone is flamboyant, it’s the 18-year-old gay man sorting through his own identity, and that I counter with the screechy 18-year-old teenage girl. Both are equally irritating and confused. But in women, we find that endearing.

In the end, I do agree with Todd Gold that Hollywood is reflecting changes in society. They’re not widespread changes, but they’re still afoot. I also agree that the millennial generation is much more comfortable with “alternative families” than older generations. Our parents broke the traditional marriage model, and we got through it OK, so what’s wrong with two people of the same sex coupling up? Surely it’s no more damaging than being told at age 10 that you have a new father.

Hollywood is a pretty liberal place, and I think those of us who are of the liberal persuasion like to think we’re pretty awesome – we’ve accepted gay people as our equals! But there’s a lot of prejudice and sense of the “other” that still clouds the way society as a whole treats people in same-sex relationships. We shouldn’t give ourselves too much credit – winning an Emmy is cute, but it’s not the end zone. Especially when they haven’t even kissed!