What it’s like to fall victim to a world flu pandemic, without even knowing it.

About two weeks ago, I was reading an article in The Globe and Mail over breakfast, when a question crossed my mind: "Have I been kissed by the gloom of Swine?"

You might think it’s a shocking or silly question, but I’d been sick on and off for a month. It turns out that, somewhere between a video shoot in Vermont, a heavy metal concert in London, and my own musical showcase in Toronto, I had indeed fallen victim to a world pandemic. I am now officially on the mend – thanks to a combination of naturopathic treatments and heavy-duty antibiotics, among other survival tools – and I’ve gathered enough energy to type out this, my swine flu chronicle.

A Strange Illness

"The young and healthy who feel invincible from the H1N1 'swine flu' influenza pandemic may not be as bulletproof as they think, warn public health experts." – The Globe and Mail, July 2, 2009.

In late May, I was flattened by the strangest flu. I had the traditional symptoms – stuffy nose and ears, a sore throat, and body aches – but they came all at once, and were far more intense than I had ever experienced. For a person who only gets ill once or twice a decade, it was scary. So I went to my local hospital. It was at the height of the swine flu scare, and at the reception desk there was a warning sign that said, "Please Advise Nurse if You Have Any Flu Symptoms." So I did, and they gave me a face mask to wear while I waited to see the doctor.

The doctor diagnosed me with a sinus infection, and said my fever was too low for swine flu. She warned the liquid in my ears could lead to infection and prescribed antibiotics. I was reluctant to take them because I hadn’t taken any in years and avoid them in general, but I had a trip to the UK coming up, and as a seasoned traveler, I know about the deadly blocked-ears-and-cabin-pressure combo. The last thing I’d want to do is blow out my precious eardrums! So I went to fill the prescription.

Right off the bat there were two suspicious things that happened when I took the medication. First, the antibiotics did not seem to kick in until the seventh day. I wondered if I was on the wrong medication.

Moreover, I had a strange dream. The first night I took one of the chubby white pills, I had a nightmare about the relationship between the virus running through my body and the pill I took to kill it. It was explained to me, as only in a wordless dream, that the virus was a clever mutated strain, and that the antibiotics had been tricked and sent off to fight the wrong war inside me. The virus was able to shape shift and start fires to draw attention away from the real problem, leading to scattered armies chasing the wrong enemies, and essentially spreading themselves too thin. It was a true anxiety dream, and when I awoke I instantly regretted taking the antibiotics, for fear of wasting my resources on "fake" wars inside me.

My symptoms had barely subsided a week into my treatment, but at that point there was no turning back, because there was a business trip to London and rock shows to play. xMAdMx

Feeling Better

"The other troubling characteristic of the swine pandemic is that, unlike other flus, it is not tapering off in the summer months. Instead, Canada is experiencing five times the rate of flu activity it normally does at this time of year, all of it H1N1. 'The other flu bugs have vanished. But not H1N1,' Dr. Gardam says."

By the time I’d started to feel better after 10 long days, it was supposedly summer. Since contracting the worst flu of my life in late May, I’d gone to London for various meetings with music companies and potential partners for the release of my upcoming project, OUT OF OUR MINDS, a multimedia concept album featuring a CD, a fantasy film, and a comic.

It’s a very fertile climate in the music industry now, despite the fact that record sales are down and the traditional business models are becoming irrelevant. Artists and business people alike are up for taking creative risks and experimenting. As always, the Brits are ahead of the game. The real highlight of my trip to London was when I got to see my favourite album of 2009, Crack the Skye, played from top to bottom in a small rock club by the world’s premiere new metal band, Mastadon. (For those not yet familiar with them, I’ll just say: Black Sabbath, Metallica, Slayer, Thin Lizzy, and the other heroes of heavy metal, hard rock, and prog rock, have met their modern day match.) The fiery gates opened to the clan of mystic pagan shredders from Atlanta and the applause was universal. I left London, a satisfied heavy music lover!

Immediately after my trip, I prepared for Toronto’s NXNE music and film festival in mid-June. It was my Toronto début-slash-sneek-preview for my new project. I was showcasing the new songs, as well as the film.

Performing at NXNE was important to me. Over the last few years I have been in a profound creative cocoon, in the process of reinventing my connection to the outside world. I have not been playing many shows, and after having spent the better part of my adult life touring and feasting off the adrenaline that live shows bring, I missed it tremendously. Those familiar anxious questions ran through my mind: “Will I remember my lyrics?” “Will the sound be terrible?” “Will the audience get it, or stare back blankly?” As always, the joy of connecting with the songs, the band members on the stage, and the audience’s open ears made me ecstatic … and the rush masked the fact that my flu had not quite yet departed. xMAdMx

See Melissa Auf der Maur's Swine Flu Survival Tools. For more information on Ms. Auf der Maur's latest project, OUT OF OUR MINDS, visit her webpage.