Hands Off Our Pop Songs

Canadian censors have finally put a stop to the Dire Straits' 25-year campaign of hate.

The Canadian Broadcast Standards Council has declared that the 1985 Dire Straits classic “Money For Nothing” cannot be played on Canadian airwaves because it contains the word “faggot.” Apparently, their decision was prompted by a single listener complaint. Release the op-ed hounds!

“Karl Marx would be proud,” declares the Halifax Chronicle-Herald’s Laurent Le Pierrès. “The dictatorship of the protestariat has finally arrived.” He wonders what would happen if he filed a complaint over the censorship, seeing as a single grievance apparently holds so much weight.

In a refreshingly clear-headed contribution from the Ottawa Sun, the editors write, “Developed societies have come to understand censorship is only a productive tool in the most rare of circumstances, because it’s very rare for the majority of society to agree when it is necessary. Almost unheard of, in fact.”

The National Post’s Matt Gurney provides a pretty funny list of other songs that the CBSC should consider banning, including 1944’s “Baby It’s Cold Outside” (for promoting date rape and forcible confinement), the Beatles’ “Happiness is a Warm Gun (“incitement to violence”), and Elton John’s “Jamaica Jerk-Off.”

“The lesson here is to push back,” advises the Post’s Chris Selley. “Radio stations not beholden to the CBSC should crank the unabridged “Money for Nothing” up to 11. Because this trend isn’t going to stop here on its own.”

The Globe and Mail editorial board is for some reason particularly offended by the ban because “Money for Nothing” was co-written by Sting, “whose human-rights work has earned him plaudits from Amnesty International.”

Sun Media’s Brian Lilley is extremely alarmed, writing “They're at it again, another quasi-government body is trying to tell you what you can hear, say or think based on someone, somewhere being offended … The big question here is … whether we need authorities with plenty of power telling us what we can and cannot hear.” His objection is understandable of course, but “plenty of power”? We’ve had “Money for Nothing” on repeat here in the Newsroom all day, and the men in the black pajamas have yet to come rappelling through the windows.