Obama Reveals Birth Certificate

Hopefully, this will put an end to the chorus of skepticism over whether the 44th president is truly an American.

The White House released President Barack Obama's long-form birth certificate today, hoping to draw an end to three years of ill-informed speculation over whether he was truly born in the U.S.A. The so-called “birther” movement, apparently unsatisfied with his standard short-form certificate released during the 2008 campaign, as well as a birth announcement from a Hawaiian newspaper announcing little Barry's birth in 1961, has been stoked to a frenzy once again in recent weeks, prodded by Donald Trump's pronouncements on the subject. Obama, in a news conference, said that the country doesn't “have time for such silliness” as determining the president's (already confirmed, at least twice) birthplace.