Mean People Make More Money Than You

Now quit your complaining and get back to work. Those TPS reports aren't going to file themselves.

Nice people – both men and women – make less at their jobs than those whose coworkers consider them disagreeable, meaning a raise is just around the corner for you, provided you have no qualms about verbally assaulting all of your colleagues. According to a study undertaken by researchers at the University of Western Ontario and the University of Notre Dame, men who were less agreeable than average made nearly $10,000 more than those weak-spined yes-men who never stick up for themselves, and, really, are total pansies. Meaner women also earned on average $1,800 more than their pleasant counterparts. We're sure there's some sort of correlation between the type of person who'd tell his or her underlings to screw off and die and the personality required to land competitive, high-paying positions, but it's a lot easier just to complain about it quietly, or, ideally, to yourself, before returning to your work, meekly assuaging your boss's ego as you count down the days until retirement, and then you'll show them. You'll show allllllll of them.