Female Prison Guards Feared Conrad Black Would Assault Them

Liar, fraudster, thief, yes. But ... assault?

Former media baron/ leading windbag Conrad Black told CTV in last night that he won't be returning to the same federal prison in Florida where he's already served 29 months because two female prison guards who work there are scared of him. Black wouldn't say where he'll be serving out the remainder of his 42-month sentence (We're pulling for Riker's Island), but he made it explicitly clear – using words that graduate students would have a hard time using in speech – that he was not returning to the Coleman Federal Correctional Facility in Coleman, Florida. The two guards apparently said under oath that they were afraid Black would assault them, a claim that leaves us scratching our heads a bit unless “assault” now means “bore to death with loquacious self-importance.” Black is set to begin the remained of his term following a retrial that cut his initial sentence of 72 months for mail and wire fraud down to 42 months.