5-Tonne NASA Satellite To Fall From Sky

NASA says not to worry, but we're going to go ahead and lock ourselves in our underground panic room for the next month just to be sure.

A five-tonne, 20-year-old NASA satellite will plunge back down to Earth later this month, although no one knows when, where, or whether it will hit anybody. NASA puts the odds of the dead satellite hitting someone at 1 in 3,200, which come to think of it, isn't that comforting a number, as it's higher than the chance of dying in a car accident, exponentially higher than getting hit by lightning, and unfathomably larger than the odds of the Ottawa Senators facing off against the Edmonton Oilers in the Stanley Cup final. Still, NASA says not to worry, as most of the satellite will burn up upon re-entering the earth's atmosphere, leaving some 550 kilograms of debris for us to dodge. No one has ever been hit by falling space debris, but there's a first for everything.