World's Worst Soccer Team Nabs First Ever Victory

Tiny American Samoa tops tiny Tonga 2-1.

It only took 30 tries in 17 years, but the national soccer team for American Samoa, currently ranked in last place among all countries in FIFA, has finally won its first match. American Samoa, a tiny American protectorate in the Pacific Ocean (woo manifest destiny!) topped Tonga 2-1 in international test play, although it didn't help them budge from 204th in the FIFA rankings. To be fair, American Samoa shares that final spot with four other micro-countries – Andorra, San Marino, Montserrat, and Samoa – but none of them had gone 30 years without a single victory. They also couldn't boast the record of having lost by the greatest margin of goals in a game, as American Samoa lost 31-0 to Australia in 2001. All told, the team has only scored 12 goals in its existence but has let in 229.

Oh, and here's a trailer released today for a great-looking documentary on the team, entitled Next Goal Wins: