U.S. Sets Black Friday Sales Records

Meanwhile, Europe's debt crisis has never looked worse.

The Eurozone might be facing a six-month recession, dragging down innocent bystander Canada in the process, but that didn't stop the U.S. of F'n A. from breaking its Black Friday weekend sales records. Between Friday and Sunday, 226 million shoppers made their way to stores, purchasing on average just under $400 worth of goods. That's 14 million more shoppers and more than $30 more per customer than last year, providing retailers with a mind-boggling $11.4 billion in sales on the Friday alone. (That's more money than Papua New Guinea makes in a year. In fact, it's enough to make Black Friday the 123rd largest economy on the planet.) Another $816 million were spent online over the weekend, with even more expected to be sold during today's "Cyber Monday" (ugh, these terms) events. All told, the holiday spending season is expected to generate $466 billion in sales this year. We hear Italian bonds are what all the kids want this year.