A non-fat cat has emerged as the leading third-party candidate in a tight race between two former governors.
American elections are strange and beautiful creatures, forcing us to endure a Howard Dean or Rick Perry for every Jimmy “The Rent is Too Damn High” McMillan. The Lord giveth, etc. This year is no different, with one candidate emerging in the race for Virginia’s open Senate seat poised to make you take paws and other terrible cat-related puns. Yep, a house cat named Hank has launched a campaign, taking on the two former Virginia governors – Tim Kaine (D) and George Allen (R). So far, Hank has his own website, campaign video (see below!), Facebook page, and Twitter account, although whether he actually gets on the ballot is a different question, what with him lacking the requisite thumbs, chromosomes, and brain capacity (but only just barely) to be considered a human. Hank seems to be somewhat of a libertarian, as he’s tweeted his support for a privacy bill of rights, and like every other candidate, feline or non-, he’s all about job creation. (Just once we’d like to find a candidate who supported fewer jobs.)
Either way, we’re all for getting more animals into Congress, as cats in particular are probably far less likely to be swayed by D.C.’s manifold lobbyists than the current
stooges fine, upstanding men and women there now. Until the tuna-can lobby finds a way to K Street, that is.